5 Ways to Make Date Night A Reality

Naomi Middleton

It’s easy to acknowledge the importance of date night, but turning that into a reality can be quite challenging. Quality time with your spouse is essential, yet life's demands often push it aside. Before we had kids, we frequently let date nights slip by. Now, with children in the mix, finding the time, money, and creativity for a fun date night can be even more difficult. We're still working on prioritizing date night, but here are a few strategies we've implemented to make it happen:

1. Schedule it on Your Calendar

To make date night a reality, it’s essential to prioritize and schedule it as you would any important appointment. Without it on your calendar, it's all too easy for it to be pushed aside by other responsibilities and commitments. Scheduling date night not only helps ensure it actually happens but also allows you to plan ahead and build anticipation.

We love adding a date night to our calendar. It becomes a focal point in our week that we can look forward to, which makes the anticipation part of the fun. Knowing we have a designated time set aside for just us helps shift our focus away from daily stresses and towards enjoying each other’s company.

Additionally, when date night is on our calendar, it becomes easier to protect that time from being overtaken by other obligations. Having it scheduled gives us a solid reason to say “no” to additional tasks or social invitations that might otherwise interfere. It turns date night into a non-negotiable part of our routine, much like a work meeting or a family commitment.

By treating date night as a fixed, non-flexible part of our schedule, we reinforce its importance and ensure it gets the attention it deserves. This practice helps us maintain a strong connection amidst the chaos of daily life and keeps our relationship thriving.

2. Stay Home (Make A Date Jar)

When we were dating, our idea of a date often involved going out for a meal, followed by a coffee or dessert. While I still cherish those outings, they aren’t always feasible with young kids and a hectic schedule. To make date night a consistent part of our lives, we’ve had to get creative about enjoying quality time together at home.

One effective and fun way to keep home dates exciting is to create a “date” jar. Here’s how it works: Gather a collection of ideas for home-based dates and write each one on a slip of paper. These could include activities like cooking a new recipe together, having a movie night with homemade popcorn, playing board games, or even just enjoying a candlelit dinner at home.

When you find that going out isn’t an option—whether due to childcare issues, busy schedules, or other constraints—you can simply pick a “date” idea from the jar. This not only adds an element of surprise and spontaneity but also ensures that you’re still investing in your relationship even when you can’t leave the house.

The “date” jar can be a great way to keep date nights fresh and varied, and it removes the pressure of planning something elaborate. Plus, it helps you create meaningful moments together without the need for a lot of time or expense. By making the effort to incorporate these home-based dates, you ensure that your relationship remains a priority, no matter how busy life gets.

3. Do A Date Swap

While home date nights can be delightful and offer their own unique charm, I must admit that I thoroughly enjoy going out. There's something refreshing about stepping out of the house to explore a new restaurant or experience a new activity together. It provides a change of scenery and helps me focus on our time together without the constant distraction of household tasks.

However, finding a babysitter can be both costly and challenging. To address this, we’ve discovered a solution that works well for us: date swaps. Here’s how it works: We arrange to watch our friends' children for an evening, allowing them to enjoy a date night. In return, they take care of our kids on another night, giving us the opportunity to go out.

Date swaps offer several advantages. Not only do they help us save on babysitting costs, but they also build a sense of community and mutual support with our friends. It’s a win-win situation: we all get to enjoy regular date nights while benefiting from the shared responsibility of childcare.

This arrangement not only makes date nights more feasible but also reinforces our friendships. By exchanging babysitting duties, we ensure that both our relationships and our social connections remain strong, all while continuing to nurture our own relationship through regular outings.

4. Take Turns Planning

This aspect is particularly significant: taking turns planning date night can make a huge difference. When one person always shoulders the responsibility of planning, it can become emotionally draining and overwhelming. By sharing the planning duties, you ensure that the effort and thoughtfulness are evenly distributed, which can help prevent burnout and keep the excitement alive in your relationship.

Moreover, taking turns planning date nights offers a wonderful opportunity to make each other feel special. Each person can bring their unique touch to the date, reflecting their understanding of what the other enjoys. Even though we share many interests, we also have our own individual preferences. I relish the chance to plan a date that I know Caleb will love, putting thought into activities and experiences that will delight him. It’s a joy to think creatively about how to make him feel valued and appreciated.

On the flip side, I deeply appreciate when Caleb takes the reins and plans a date night tailored to my interests. It shows his attentiveness and willingness to cater to my preferences, which makes me feel cherished and important. This mutual exchange not only keeps our date nights fresh and exciting but also strengthens our bond by allowing each of us to take turns creating memorable experiences for the other. In essence, sharing the responsibility of planning date nights enriches our relationship by ensuring that both partners feel special and valued. It fosters a sense of collaboration and appreciation, enhancing the overall quality of our time together.

5. Something Is Better than Nothing

We often remind ourselves that something is better than nothing when it comes to date nights. It’s easy to feel discouraged if you don't have the time or budget for the elaborate dates you might envision. However, it's crucial to remember that the essence of a date night is about spending quality time together, not necessarily about the grandiosity of the activity.

Even if your date night doesn't turn out to be a fancy dinner or an elaborate outing, simply setting aside time to be together can be incredibly meaningful. If your best option is ordering take-out and enjoying a quiet meal without the kids, that still counts as a win. The key is to make the effort to connect and enjoy each other's company, regardless of the circumstances.

These smaller, more manageable date nights can be just as valuable as the more extravagant ones. They provide a regular opportunity to reconnect and foster your relationship, which is ultimately what matters most. By focusing on the quality of your time together rather than the specifics of the activity, you can maintain a sense of togetherness and continue to nurture your bond, no matter how busy or constrained you may be.